Death NoteThe Sisters
by 1313.PLUS.Dark.EQUALS.luv
Summary: Death Note Characters are plagued by the Sisters myself and my two best friends aka, my sisters There are things that shouldn't be allowed to happen when they're all in the same room. Just some random stuff, honestly.


Dark(aka THE AUTHOR): *sits behind a large box, munching on pound cake and drinking diet dr pepper*

Gummi:…Dark….what are you doing?

Dark: Eating…and waiting.

Gummi: Waiting…for what? Wait….Why are there jars of jam under the box…

Dark: *munch-munch*

GUmmi: Dark! What did you do?

Dark: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Gummi: Oh god…you didn't did you?

Dark: NO! I did NOT accidentally let Beyond loose again.

Gummi: *stares*

Dark: Ok, ok. So I did. My bad. I'm waiting though; I'm sure he'll get hungry soon enough and come back.

Gummi: You don't have time to wait. You have to do the disclaimer.

Dark: Nope *crosses arms* I'ma make Beyond do it.

Gummi: You have to do the disclaimer before you post this thing up. Otherwise, people are going to sue you.

Dark: Doubt it. I don't have anything for them.

Gummi: Well..you have your anime collection…

Dark: What collection?

Gummi: *sighs* Okay…they'll take your Fatal Frame 2 game. And your dolls.

Dark: They can't sue me out of my children.

Gummi: Those dolls are not your children.

Dark: -ignores- *munch-munch*

Gummi: DAMN IT, DARK! If you don't do the disclaimer soon, this stupid thing is gonna be over half the length of the actual…list… thing your wrote.

Dark: Well, then people can start reading. I refuse to disclaim anything. Beyond WILL be back…and Beyond WILL do it.

Gummi: Better say good bye to what money and belongings you have.

Things to Avoid letting happen when…The Death Note Characters are near The Sisters and vice versa.

**1. Never let Mikami fix your computer.**

All you will hear is "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETEEEE" and once you come back…all your files will be gone.

_Ex._

_Dark had way to many files on her computer, no one had to tell her this. So she somewhat reluctantly allowed herself to be pulled away from her "baby" by Neko and Gummi. They retired to the kitchen where Gummi taught Dark to make hamburgers while allowing Mikami to deal with the file overload. Soon after they heard someone yelling "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!" from the computer room. When Dark returned, she was…shocked. All her files were gone and were replaced with pictures of someone named Light Yagami. Dark returned to the kitchen and snuck her favorite butcher knife back into the computer room. Luckily for Mikami, Dark didn't do a very good job of sneaking while fuming and her two Sisters were able to tackle the enraged girl to the ground before she plunged the knife down into Mikami while screaming, "EMPTY RECYLCE BIN…FOREVER!'_

**2. Let L baby-sit small children.**

Really. Five minutes after retaining them you'll either A.) Kill L because said children are so hyped up not even a real life Nanny McPhee could handle them or B.) Rush them to the hospital to prevent a possible diabetic coma.

_Ex._

_Both Gummi and Dark allowed L to watch over their younger family members as they caught a late night horror movie. Upon arrival, L met them at the door…a rather short, blonde haired, blue eyed L. After a few moments, both Gummi and Dark ran into the house fully aware that the "L" at the door was really Dark's six year old niece. Ignoring children on sugar highs crashing into walls, Gummi and Dark began looking for L who was probably in grave danger. They found L in Dark's bedroom and he was in grave danger. With one hand cuffed to the bed and the other wrist deep in jelly beans, L was held captive by two small boys who looked like a cross of pirates/power rangers. When L demanded his freedom, Dark face-palmed and Gummi explained. "The key broke the first time Dark was in them. Devil-Kid threw the key across the room and Tomb was lucky when she released the lock." Dark's eye twitched when L gave her a curious look. "I was at school, ok?" After a few minutes, L let both girls know, babysitting these children in the future had dropped to a .03 percent chance._

**3. Even if they really want a clown for the birthday party, don't let Matsuda fill in.**

Do you want to explain why a group of small children are trying to do hand stands on the balcony and promptly falling to their grounds *cough* deaths *cough*. Yeah. Didn't think so. You've been warned.

_Ex._

_The Sisters were hired, for some odd reason, to throw a birthday party for some local children. But because of procrastination, insomnia and video games, they all forgot about the entertainment for the children. With no free to hire clown in sight, and they most certainly only gave a minute thought to the Hobo around the corner who always smiled at little boys, they called Matsuda. The party only lasted ten minutes before a child tried to imitate Matsuda's performance and fell, luckily, into an open topped Bouncy House. _

_The Sisters were never asked to plan, or even attend, another child's birthday party._

_And they weren't even allowed to play in the bouncy house for a few seconds._

**4. Don't talk about criminals on your Facebook in Light's presence.**

He'll promptly have L hack your account (claiming it an action to disprove L's theories of YOU being Kira) and when L's busy devouring cake, write half your friends list into annihilation. Even if you were only speaking Mafia War criminal wise.

_Ex._

"_And then, he killed ten people! And after that, fifteen other friends killed ten people! I just can't understand why, I find it boring. I can't believe I have these people on my Facebook."_

_Light's ears perked up at the word "killed". _

"_Is there some sort of mass murder going on, Dark-Chan?"_

_Dark glared at Light, "Do not call me 'Dark-Chan' you idiotic, useless, crazy, murderous, gay—omffff— " Gummi smiled somewhat as her hand clamped over Dark's mouth. "Ignore her…she's a bit…off today."_

_Once Gummi and Neko left, dragging along a still blubbering Dark, Light approached L._

"_To be sure that Dark isn't Kira, I think we should check her Facebook."_

_L nibbled on his thumb nail, dark eyes gazing up to Light. "And why would that bring fourth evidence of her being Kira or not?"_

"_Because everyone puts up everything on Facebook."_

_L contemplated Light's comment a moment before replying, reaching for a tea cup full of a sugary substance. "Why don't you just look on her profile?"_

_Light's eye twitched. "It's set to private and…she hasn't accepted my friend request."_

_L sighed, hacking into Dark's facebook while Light disappeared for a moment. _

_Once L had succeeded, Light returned and handed a generous sized cake to the detective. Once L was consumed in consuming cake, Light quickly jotted down every name that was associated with something called Mafia Wars, no doubt a front for the murderers. _

_He thought momentarily of snooping through the messages when an IM popped up from Beyond Birthday. Something about wanting to know "which hole of yours do I have to dig into to get some jam." Light blanched and shut down the site quickly before Beyond could send another, clarifying, message: "and why the hell did you dig holes in the front yard to hide jam anyway?"_

**Don't let Mello do the laundry.**

You might open the washing machine to find Near stuffed in and Mello claiming he mistook the fellow orphan as a fabric softener sheet.

_Ex._

_Gummi noticed the washing machine making a funny noise, most likely from overloading, and ran into the laundry room to take out some clothes. Upon arriving in the back room she spotted Mello, sitting upon the washing machine, eating chocolate. Not wanting to fight with the black clad teen, Gummi pushed Mello off the machine and opened the lid. She reached in and grabbed something remarkably…soft?_

_Gummi lifted her find and came face to face with another Wammy Orphan, Near._

"_Near…what are you doing in the washer?" Gummi asked, eyeing the boy._

_Near lifted a pale hand to twirl a chunk of wet hair and stared at the person before him._

_Gummi turned her head slowly to Mello, everything suddenly clicking in her head._

"_What? I thought he was a fabric softener sheet."_

_Gummi was not amused._

"_Look," Mello motioned to the pinks and blacks now staining the white attire of Near. "He caught the bleeding colors."_

_Gummi's eye began to twitch._

_Mello stared at her for a moment before turning and running out the door right behind him._

_Near was dropped back into the soapy suds before Gummi followed after Mello calmly, her inner Michel Myers coming out._

_It was hours later when L began looking for his successor that name was similar to a soda that he tripped over Near. _

"_Near," L began, titling his head, "Have you seen Mello?"_

_Near, without looking to the detective smirked for a nanosecond. "Yes, Gummi-Chan has hung him up to dry."_

_L pondered the meaning of such a phrase. Was it similar to the "He's sleeping with the fishes" phrase? If so, L would certainly have to look into Gummi's past to see what possible reasons she'd have to murder one of his successors. _

_Seemingly lost in though, L's dark circle laden eyes followed the path Near's eyes were transfixed on. _

_Outside was vastly green as Dark lived in the middle of nowhere. And, to save money on electricity, there was a three string clothing line outside. And currently clothes pinned to one was a sopping wet Mello. _

**Matt is not to be trusted with your Nintendo DS.**

He will play, and beat, all of your games, regardless to it being an auto-save game, thus bringing you to tears when you realize all YOUR save files are gone.

_Ex._

_Dark had worked non-stop on her Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja game. The game was indeed somewhat difficult when one died playing. All items and cash were taken and thus, Dark almost always lost first-rate weapons. But after days of playing, Dark had her main partner up to level 70 with her and was on the final dungeon. Exiting the dungeon and allowing the game to auto-save, Dark promptly fell asleep._

_When Dark awoke again, her Star Wars clad Ds was missing from her hand and when she rolled over, she noticed the ginger headed Matt sitting beside her. _

"_Uhm…Matt?" _

_Matt smiled and handed the DS back to Dark who's jaw dropped open when the end credits of Izuna scrolled._

"…_My game…"_

"_Yeah," Matt said as he climbed out of the wrought iron bed and to the door. "I beat it. Too easy."_

_Matt walked down the hall, oblivious to the wails of a gamer girl who lost all her progress on a certain game._

**If given the choice between L babysitting children or Beyond Birthday, always choose L.**

L might inadvertently push all children into sugar comas but at least he won't creepily stare above their heads and tell them how much longer they've got to live.

_Ex._

_Gummi, Neko and Dark returned home early that night, fearing a replay of what happened to L could as easily happen to Beyond Birthday. And…Dark wanted to cuddle the Jam covered fiend, against his will even. _

_Neko opened the door and was the first one in, even she stared open mouth, the two younger sisters following example._

_In the living, the children surrounding him in a half moon, knelt Beyond. He stared happily above all the children's heads. _

"_Uhm…Beyond?" Gummi ventured, wondering if the man had died and rigor mortis set in. _

_The unofficial twin of L turned to the young woman, smiling._

"_Oh, we were playing a game. I told them the number above their head and added, if they moved without my permission, the number would decrease drastically."_

_Gummi raised a slender eye brow before realizing what "number" he had told them. Her hands clenched into fists as she launched herself at the madman._

_But not even a furious Aunt can out launch a crazy fan girl._

_Dark made it to Beyond Birthday first and tackled him to the ground, nuzzling her cheek against his. _

**Do not let Mello near any black note books.**

Doing so will result in your kidnapping and probably an explosion. It's better to avoid this situation all together.

_Ex. _

_Gummi and Neko begged Dark numerous times to put away the Death Note she had sitting in her room before Mello came over. Dark refused, believing the chocolate lover would know the difference between the real and fake. _

_Dark wasn't in her room two days later when Neko checked on her. Gummi sighed crabbily when she noticed the Death Note gone and, the biggest hint of foul play, Dark's game of Fatal Frame 2 wasn't paused. _

_The explosion of the shed, just a few minutes from Dark's house, a week later left Gummi and Neko sighing. They returned to the house and waited. A few minutes later a slightly charred Dark entered, an unconscious Mello pulled behind her in a little red wagon. "MOMMY! MOMMY2! I FOUND HIM! CAN I KEEP HIM?"_

**Do not allow Dark to speak to L when she is bored, hyper or in a idiosyncratic mood.**

She will promptly be arrested on suspicion of being slightly unstable or for being a possible Kira.

_Ex._

"_No…Murder may not be the answer but it gets rid of the problem, thus eliminating the need for before mentioned answer." _

_L only stared for a moment before quickly asking Watari to take Dark into custody on grounds of a small chance the young woman was Kira or incredibly unstable. Dark complied happily, asking if she could share a cell with Beyond before sneakily stuffing small packets of jam into her bra._

**Do not let anyone, especially Gummi, near…Near when paint is around.**

All three sisters like to draw and be otherwise creative with whatever means necessary. If one is out of paper, hands become paintbrushes and the kitchen becomes the canvas. (true story that is. Note to self: No more paint-covered hand high fives in the )

And anything white is fair game.

_Ex._

_Mello stomped through the house several times before realizing his hunt for Near was futile. He glared to Neko, who was sitting in the living room drawing._

"_Hey…hey…CAT LADY!"_

_Neko raised her eyes, glaring at the blonde. "What?" she hissed._

"_You see Nea-" _

"_SIT DOWN! Everyone! NOW"_

_Mello jumped out of his skin and over the couch as Gummi bellowed, stepping out from the back bedroom._

"_Ahem," the girl cleared her throat. "Presenting, Near…no longer a sheep but…" Gummi held her arms out expectantly. _

_The clock ticked._

"_Oh..uh, hold on, Gummi!" Dark whispered from behind the wall separating the living room from the Dark's room, the back room and one of two bathrooms._

_The tell-tale rustling of a struggle sounded and finally, Dark appeared, holding a frowning Near under his shoulders. _

_Even Mello couldn't speak._

"_Oh right," Gummi smiled. "Presenting Near, My Colorful Little Pony style!"_

_Neko sighed. "So that's where my neon paint went."_

_Purple, green, blue, red, pink. Near would no longer blend into the snow now._

**11. Do not allow Beyond Birthday to mow the grass.**

Well, actually, you shouldn't let BB do anything that calls for him to be around gasoline. But especially a lawn mower that will eventually need a refill.

_Ex._

_Dark giggled. Manically. Beyond Birthday had graciously offered to help her mow the grass one morning. Not only would she not have to do all the work but perhaps Beyond was returning her one-sided love._

_That was until the mower began to slow. Beyond smiled, grabbing the gas can and poured it over him instead of into the grass chopping machine. _

_Neko and Gummi were sitting on the front porch when Beyond jumped up the stairs, grabbed one of the many lighters( they were always set out there when found, since Dark always took and lost them somewhere)._

_Gummi yelled to Dark as Beyond took off yet again._

_Dark's head snapped to and she took off after her problematic behaving one-sided lover._

_The lighter had leapt to life just as Dark tackled Beyond. _

"_Fancy we keep meeting like this," Dark smiled, blowing a strand of incredibly red hair out of her face. "I'll take that," she grabbed the lighter and stuffed it into her shirt._

"_Naomi Misora ain't got nothing on you, Dark!" Neko and Gummi chanted._

**Don't leave Mello and Dark alone with chocolate.**

Mello makes it seem easy. Almost every chocolate bar he has can be bitten with a satisfactory 'crunch'. However, it isn't that easy according to Dark who has tried.

_Ex._

_Matt was lurking around looking for Mello. Neko and Gummi hadn't seen Dark for the past few hours either. The situation wasn't looking pretty. Had Dark been kidnapped by Mello again? _

_-snap-_

_Matt, Neko and Gummi stopped mid-step. The noise was coming from Dark's bedroom. _

_They opened the door, hoping to find someone but…no one was there._

_The trio entered and looked around quietly._

"_DAMN IT!"_

_The trio looked to each other. Had they just heard Dark screaming profanities from…_

"_The closet?" Matt's brows scrunched._

_Gummi stepped forward slowly and placed her hand on the knob._

_-snap-_

"_Damn it! How come mine won't do that? I want it to snap, just like you, Mello. It's not fair! Your mouth is so…talented."_

_Gummi looked back to Matt and Neko and sighed. _

_The closet door flew open._

_Dark hissed at the light, a bar of chocolate held to her lips. Beside her on the yellow dresser in her closet sat Mello. He too had a bar of chocolate in his mouth._

_Matt leaned past Gummi and shut the door. _

"_Let's…just pretend this never happened." Matt went back to his video game as everyone exited the room. _

**Take the "You've got mail!" yahoo wav off your yahoo. Better yet, delete it off your computer entirely. **

Anyone *cough* Dark *cough* who is logged into yahoo messenger and get's told "YOU HAVE MAIL" might freak out a bit.

_Dark was minding her own business, chatting with a few –wait, she doesn't have any friends- (imaginary) friends when her computer in a synthetic voice blurted out, "YOU HAVE MAIL". Dark's fingers froze above the keys on her keyboard, her eyes wide. _

_Mail…as in Matt? _

_Dark gulped as the computer repeated itself several times. _

"_Oh..no. No,no, no." Dark flew away from her computer and into the living room where everyone was gathered watching Tangled. _

"_Get your bags packed, we have to go! Right now. Like..this instant. PEOPLE KNOW!"_

_Gummi regarded Dark skeptically. "Who knows what, Dark?"_

"_Yes, what is the meaning of your apparent alarm, Dark-Chan?" L asked from his perch._

"_Many people know…know that Matt is here!"_

_Matt looked up from his game boy at the mention of his alias. _

"…_And how do you figure that?" Neko asked._

"_THE COMPUTER! I was sitting on it and it said 'You have Mail'. So someone must've hacked into my computer and even hid surveillance cameras in and around the house!" _

_There was a trace of poise with how everyone deadpanned at the same time._

**Do not allow L and Dark to argue over Dark's intelligence level.**

All three of the Sisters have at least average intelligence. However, many debate that fact when Dark goes off into her moods.

"_I find that incredibly preposterous. Who in their right mind would do such a degrading thing?" Dark mused, a blueberry bagel held to her lips. "I mean," she continued, her inner thoughts fueling her discord. "Pink? Seriously? I hate that color so who the HELL thought I'd dye it that color. My hair is RED. R.E.D. Crayola red. Not pink. Not slightly pink. BUT RED."_

_Mello, L, Matt, Neko and Gummi stared at the red/black head. _

"_What? Why are you staring at me? STOP ITTTTTTTTTTT," Dark whined as she threw her bagel in the group's general direction. "I don't like people staring at me it makes m-OH! Shiny!" Dark knelt down to the ground, poking a quarter that was resting there._

_L knelt down beside the girl in his customary crouch._

"_Dark-Chan? A word?"_

_The girl kept giggling as she scooted the shiny coin._

_L turned his gaze to her two sisters. "Are you sure Dark-Chan isn't…"_

_Dark's ears perked up and she flew up to her full height. "I am not stupid!"_

"_Yeah right," Mello scoffed from his perch, a chocolate bar falling victim to his mouth._

"_I am not! I was reading when I was four!"_

_Everyone stared at her._

"_So?"_

"…_So…stupid people aren't reading in pre-school."_

_Gummi sighed as she picked up the bagel Dark had used as a weapon and threw it into the trash. "Don't pick on, Dark. I mean…"_

_Dark smiled innocently to her best friend/sister._

"_She did read at a young age but when she was like twelve, she called me and asked me how to make a hamburger."_

_Dark's brow twitched._

"_Oh yeah! And there was that one time you said, 'You can't have your cake and eat it too.' And Dark was all 'But why not? If you only eat one piece there should be some left over'," Neko pitched in._

_Gummi nodded quickly. "Yeah, but give her credit. She got if after she realized that if you eat the cake, you won't have cake left over."_

_Dark sighed as she grabbed a fresh bagel from the fridge. "You know, I thought L and I were supposed to be debating my intellect but apparently, the time for that has come and gone. I'll be in my room."_

Dark: *sitting on top of shaking box* HEHEHE.

Gummi: Okay, okay. I stand corrected. You caught Beyond. Great.

Dark: Yes. I told you I would didn't I. Now, Beyond~ *kicks box* Hey…do the disclaimer.

Box:…..

Dark: Do it.

Box:….

Dark: No jam.

Box:…

Dark: I won't molest you for an entire day.

Box: ….

Dark: Fine. A week.

-Beyond cuts a small hole in the box, allowing an red eye to stare out-

Beyond Birthday: Dark doesn't own Death Note. Dark doesn't even own her own body.

Gummi: Nope. I do.

Beyond Birthday: A story as to why is better left for another day. I would also like to state that Dark has said she wouldn't molest me for an entire week.

Dark: Yeap..an entire week. –gets out Nintendo DS and changes the date from August 14th to August 22nd.—Oh look…it's over a week later. –evil giggle-

Gummi: I suggest you leave before you see something even the dirtiest mind can't handle.

So…this isn't exactly a LIST, which aren't allowed on here…I mean…there are small stories…called examples…hm. Yeah. Anyways…Review wise…don't really care honestly. You can flame me all you want…make sure they're good flames though, I'll make smores. Yum-Yum! Or…say something utterly random. Anyways…toodles.


End file.
